Nov 11, 2008

Ratner to Direct Conan Remake

So Brett Ratner has apparently entered final negotiations to direct the upcoming remake of Conan the Barbarian.

Let that sink in for a moment, if you know who Brett Ratner is.

If you don't, he's the genius behind "X-Men, The Last Stand" and "Rush Hour(s) 1-3" and "The Remake of Red Dragon that Sucked."

Basically, he's Hollywood's go-to guy if you want an intellectual property ruined and/or ground into joyless dust. He's a franchise-killer.

Despite the feeble protestations of a few Rush Hour 1 fans, Ratner has never done anything good that has appeared on screen. Nothing. He's a hack, and everyone, including Ratner himself, knows it.

He's currently developing Beverly Hills Cop 4. That is how shit Brett Ratner is.

So, when the slickly-edited trailers make it look like a new Conan is in the offing, and you start to get a little excited, just remember that it's all an illusion. Don't get your hopes up, because Ratner hates you as much as he loves money.


Ixtlilton said...

Who knows, maybe the world is ready for a comedy, action, buddy film version of Conan.

I hope it'll be better then Conan the Destroyer.

Morgue said...

Impossible without the comedy stylings of the late Wilt Chamberlain.