Jan 30, 2009

How you doin?

Ink Gorilla: How you doin?


Imagine a bunch of logs floating down a river, and I'm a beaver trying to build a dam.

And these logs are on fire.

And filled with (fireproof) termites.

And they're the wrong kind of wood for dam building.

And my dam is already built, and I'm trying to replace parts of it with these logs.

And there's also this huge factory.

And I have to build this other factory next door to it.

And this other factory has to produce the exact same product, using an entirely different process.

And in building this other factory, I am assisted by a mad scientist who speaks only in analogies, and who thinks that the old factory should never have been built in the first place. And I can't afford to keep the scientist around to finish the factory.

And in order to test the new factory, I have to get the same raw materials as the old factory, but the old factory is destroying those materials when it's done with them, so I have to replicate them before it starts using them.

And the only way to do that is to change the way the old factory processes its materials, which means I have to partially rebuild the old factory before I can build the new factory to emulate what the old factory did.

And we have four or five blueprints for what the old factory made, none of which resemble each other. And some sets are in imperial units and some are in metric.

And I'm not allowed to see some of them.

And a bunch of guys with wrecking balls are standing next to the old factory and continually asking me when they can start tearing it down.

All while my dam is burning and all the termites are wearing watches and saying, "When's lunch?"

That's pretty much it.

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