If you must list a personal weakness, always make sure that it's one that either isn't really a weakness ("I just work to darn hard!") or is one that the potential employer must admit they share ("Well, who does have a comprehensive understanding of both genetics and random cosmic mischance as it relates to the bifurcated universes?") Score one for the BattleLord!The BattleLord would never truly understand the combination of genetics and cosmic circumstances that had thrust him through the Veil that separates the Light from the Dark Matter Universe.
His biological being is subsumed by symbiotic infections, restoring his youth and vitality, repairing a lifetime of damage to his body, rendering him impervious to all but the most horrific of wounds.I'm not sure that an infection that makes you nigh invulnerable qualifies as "overcoming adversity and personal tragedy," but Legal says we have to give these types of claims the benefit of the doubt.
Discovered by the Dough Boys, his physical makeup is further enhanced by the inclusion of shields, weapons, and data organization devices."Discovered?" Come on, does he think he's Marilyn Monroe or something? And this sounds like he's bragging that he has his own PDA.
By utilizing his unique capabilities, he lives entire lifetimes on varied worlds and places throughout the natural universe.Ugh. Buzzwords. Can't he just say he has a wide body of experience or something? God.
With loving guidance from the peoples of these worlds, he acquires the moral convictions that have since guided his every action.Oh man. He sounds like an abortion clinic bomber. Probably leaves leaflets on co-workers' desks inviting them to Tuesday night Bible Study and smiles with strained tolerance when people talk about their weekends.
Driven to know the why of it all, he confronts the Maker, a being, entity, or machine that has existed since the very beginning of time.I knew it.
Agreeing to accept the Maker's unconditional offer of ultimate knowledge, the BattleLord becomes subjected to a total reformation. He is rebuilt, atom by atom, to form a being that is no longer truly a product of either the Light Matter or the Dark, but a unique combination of both.Does this guy actually have any experience, or am I supposed to hire him based entirely on his spiritual growth? And who wouldn't agree to an unconditional offer of ultimate knowledge? I hope it included knowledge of PowerPoint, at least.
Armed with the boon of immortality, The BattleLord explores new worlds to ensure the continuation of sentient life throughout the cosmos.That's a pretty vague objective. I mean, we're all very keen on the continuation of sentient life and all that, but it really makes it sound like he's too lazy to write a resume for this specific position.
Sorry, BattleLord, in this economy you're up against people with a lot more experience and less goofy New Age crap on their CVs. Best of luck in your future endeavors!
Buy it here at AuthorHouse.com!