Blue Pencil #3: The Jihad:Islams[sic] War In The West

For the third installment of Blue Pencil, I have chosen to move away from science fiction/fantasy for a bit, and bring you the inimitable The Jihad:Islams[sic] War In The West, by Wylie Burnett and Alodi Annis:

FOR DECADES, GREAT SECRECY CLOAKED THE ACTIVITIES OF THE RADICAL FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC MUSLIMS AFTER THEIR 20TH AND 21ST CENTURY ARMED CAMPAIGNS AGAINST WESTERN SOCIETIES. RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS FROM THE MIDDLE-EAST AND WORLD WIDE MIGRATED LEGALLY AND ILLEGALLY TO THE INDUSTRIAL NATIONS OF THE WORLD TO FORM COALITIONS WITH TERRORIST GROUPS THROUGH RELIGIOUS AND FRATERNAL ORGANIZATIONS. IN THE UNITED STATES THESE DIVERSE GROUPS BUILT CHURCHES., MOSQUES AND FAMILY ORIENTED ASSOCIATIONS THAT SERVED AS CONTACT POINTS AND PROVIDED FINANCIAL SUPPORT FOR DISGRUNTLED MINORITEIS AND ENEMIES OF THE CHRISTIAN MAJORITIES. THROUGH CAREFUL COORDINATION THE SHUR COUNCIL BROUGHT THE GROUPS TOGETHER WITH A PLAN TO SEIZE THREE WESTERN STATES. INTIMIDATION WAS BACKED BY MASSIVE WELL TRAINED GUERILLAS TO FORCE NEGOTIATION UPON A SADLY DIVIDED GOVERNMENT. THE STORY IS ABOUT THE FIVE ISLAMIC GENERALS AND MILLIONS OF FOLLOWERS WHO THROUGH YEARS OF PLANNING ARE NOW CAPTURING AND ISOLATING LOS ANGELES AND ORANGE COUNTIES IN SOUTHERR CALIFONRIA., TO FORCE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT INTO A NEGOTIATED SETTLEMENT FOR THE FREE ISLAM NATION.

Whoa, there, you don't have to shout! .

Judging from this blurb, I suspect that Xlibris charges extra for paragraph breaks and lowercase letters in the ad copy. Spell-checking seems a likely candidate for extra charges as well.

An intriguing aspect of this no-holds-barred assault on reality is the notion that the goal of radical Islam is not, as you might expect, the fiery destruction of infidel society, but rather a "NEGOTIATED SETTLEMENT FOR THE FREE ISLAM NATION."

"Now that we have toppled the godless Americans from their position as a world power and seized key sites in Glendale, Irvine, and Norwalk, we will force the imperialist swine to NEGOTIATE! Yes, brothers, soon we will have brokered an amicable arrangement with the great Satan!"

I was surprised and alarmed to see this book classified as "Political Science," rather than "Fiction." If the forces of radical Islam are on the brink of seizing control of Los Angeles County, I really ought to buy my wife a Hijab.

Here's an excerpt:

The four Generals, three with bronze to deep brown skin and a black, sat silently absorbing the last words of a long and heated debate.

Amazingly, for non-fiction, the authors can actually describe in detail the proceedings of top-secret meetings of the radicals planning to overthrow America.

Then a concerned voice interrupted, "But the city is so vast, so spread out, it will take thousands of soldiers to be effective."

Considering that they apparently have "millions" of followers in Southern California, I don't see this as a big obstacle.

He studied each of the men's faces intently looking for support and acceptance but never doubting their commitment.

Whoa! They can even tell you what these people are thinking!

Thank God they're on our side.